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The Drawback of Single Parenthood

525

I know that for the majority of parents they do not have kids thinking that they will end up being single parents(with the exception of those brave souls that go different routes such as adoption or what not).  At least I didn’t plan on it.  It happens though, unfortunately (or fortunately) more in modern times than in the past.  I don’t regret it or have second thoughts about it at all.  My daughter’s mother and I have a very good relationship when it comes to what is right and wrong for our daughter.  We don’t fight, argue, or ever try to involve our child in any of the things that as adults we need to deal with in order to provide a stable loving environment for her.  Yes one day our daughter will have questions that we may need to answer…I just didn’t expect the signs to come so soon.  As my daughter and I are laying on the couch watching some Disney creation that I don’t understand at my old age of 33, my beautiful child proceeds to tell me that she is going to ask her mom to take her to Disneyland the next weekend.  This is how the conversation plays out:

Bella: “I am going to ask Mommy to take me to Disneyland on Saturday”

Me: “That would be fun wouldn’t it.”

Bella: “Then you could meet us at Disneyland, and we could be there as a family.”

This is the point where my heart drops as I realize that my 5 year old is trying to comprehend things that she shouldn’t, and it continues…

Me: (silence)

Bella: “I wish you married my Mommy.”

Me: (still silent trying to come up with some answer for her)

Me: “Your Mother and I both love you very much.”

I am fully aware that even though it’s the truth, it is a cop-out answer.  How are you supposed to explain these things to a 5 year old though?  Neither her mom nor I would ever create a situation that is more confusing for her.  We both strive to do what is in her best interest.  How do you explain to a child that it didn’t work out, and that its better for Mommy and Daddy to not be together rather than struggle through adult problems with a child in the house.  Bella’s mother and I separated when Bella was very young.  Bella doesn’t know anything different than two loving homes.  I know that she knows that, and I know that there will come a time when more answers will have to be given.  I just hope it’s not for many years.

Last modified: October 20, 2013

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